Cracked & Crushed Read online

  The Kraken’s Sergeant At Arms stepped back and I got a good look at him. He was in his fifties too, long steel gray hair curling past his shoulders. Orange bandana wide across his forehead. I glanced back down at his cut and noted his name… Tiny… Really? He was pretty beefy like the dude outside minus the beer gut. Kind of reminded me of the way Dragon was built except this dude was white with blue eyes.

  “This way,” he said and I nodded, following him. Their cuts weren’t half bad. Top rocker was a white background with black letters and read ‘Kraken’, of course, bottom rocker read the town’s name, so they were pretty limited geographically but strong enough to hold their own against all comers. Good to know. Their colors were actually pretty rockin’.

  It featured one of those big brown wooden ships with sails on the open waves, a giant orange octopus with big yellow discs for eyes wrapping strong tentacle arms around it. The ship was broken in two and going down. All in all, pretty bad ass and appropriate for the beachfront town.

  Tiny led me back past some pool tables into a back area. I shit you not, an electric chair, probably a real one, sat against the wall on a raised dais. The president of the Kraken MC sat in it nonchalantly, a beer in one hand, a leg draped over one of the arms his phone in his hand, thumb flying across the lower part of the screen as he texted away.

  Dude was in his late thirties, early forties, built like me, which was to say, muscular without being bulky. He had long brown hair in a loose pony tail that curled down the back of his cut. It was going gray at the temples, as was his close trimmed goatee. Smile lines bracketed his mouth and the corners of his eyes but the look in the hazel orbs as they were trained on his phone said that the smiles he gave weren’t always of the friendly variety. He glanced a sidelong look in my direction and hit the switch on his phone that made the screen go dark.

  “So you’re him!” he said straightening up and putting his worn motorcycle boots to the concrete below the chair. The heels making a sharp sound.

  “I’m him,” I agreed.

  “So what you doin’ in my town?” he asked and smiled at me and I was right, not a friendly smile. I gave him one as good as I got, my smile going a little wider when I caught sight of his road name on his cut. Cutter. Ha, sweet! His eyes narrowed.

  “What’s so funny?” he asked.

  “Pleased to meet you Cutter, my name is Reaver,” I held out my fist, Cutter smiled a genuine smile and glanced at my cut, his smile got wider just as mine had and he reached out and bumped fists.

  “All pleasantries aside,” he said, “I’ll ask you again. What are you doing in my town?”

  I sighed and eyed his beer.

  “Mind if I sit? This is a bit of a long story.” Cutter looked me over and nodded grudgingly. I pulled a chair out from a table and dropped into it facing him on his, fucked up, but cool as shit little throne on its raised slab of concrete.

  “So yesterday mornin’ I’m at this wedding…” I start and Cutter gives me this look and asks me,

  “This almost sounds like you’re pullin’ my leg and are about to tell me some dumb assed joke!” he said, and the look said it all: Don’t waste my time or I’ma have your ass whooped. Seen that look around a million times before.

  “Swear on a stack of bibles, may the big man strike me down where I sit, this is the story of why I’m in your town, flyin’ Sacred Hearts colors like some noob jack ass without checkin’ in with you first,” I said. He nodded and said to someone over my shoulder.

  “Get him a beer.” I nodded my thanks but got down to it.

  “So I’m at this wedding and the happy couple is about to exchange vows… she goes through her bit, and is lookin’ up at him all expectant like and he drops a thermo nuclear bomb in her lap. Says he don’t want her. She ain’t good enough for him.” Cutter lets out a low whistle and a laugh.

  “How does that bring you to my town?”

  “I’ve been in love with the girl getting married since the day I saw her a little over a year ago. I was standing there along with all the other guests while she was getting her heart ripped out. She picked this town for the honeymoon and the shit was all paid for and so I grabbed her up, popped smoke and brought her down here to get out of the shit storm.” I leaned back and crossed my arms a beer got handed to me and I took it and drank deeply, downing half the bottle in one go.

  “So that was the little bit you came into town with huh?” he asked.

  “Yep. I should have stopped, should have phoned in or at least come in slick-backed. I was havin’ some trouble, she was out and out exhausted and turning into a liability quick. Damn near fell asleep on the back of the bike twice at the tail end of the ride. I was a moron comin’ in flyin’ but I swear to you, I’m not on a run and had every intention of comin’ around for a sit down like this one.” I finished off the beer. Cutter looked me over and nodded slowly.

  “I believe you Reaver,” he said finally, then added, “Welcome to Kraken territory.” I felt myself relax some and nodded.

  “Good to be here brother, you got a sweet little town,” I said.

  “Where about you stayin’?” he asked. I told him the name of the B&B and he nodded.

  “Good deal,” he said.

  “I promised Hayden, that’s the girl, I’d try to be back in time for lunch, barring that, dinner,” I said and got to my feet.

  “Right, well I don’t have a problem with you flyin’ your colors now that we know what you’re about. Shouldn’t make a habit of comin’ round other territories though,” he came down to my level and held out his hand, I clasped it.

  “Trust me man, I feel like a right dumb ass,” I said.

  “Should come by later,” he said.

  “I wouldn’t mind it,” I said grinning, “It’s always nice hangin’ with likeminded folk.” He grinned.

  “Tell you what, give me your digits. We got a beach party tomorrow night, might be the thing L’il Bit needs to get her mind off things. Like to see what you got when it comes to an edge.” I nodded and gave him my number.

  “Thanks for being understanding,” I said and I meant it.

  “Your P. helped smooth things over before your arrival. Pretty much told me what you did, if you’d been lyin’ I would’ve had your ass beat then turned you over to your own crew.” He smiled and again it wasn’t what you’d call friendly.

  “Noted,” I said and smiled back.

  “We’ll see you tomorrow night then.” He let me go and I nodded.

  So far these guys weren’t half bad. I rode back to the B&B feeling like at least one disaster had been averted which wasn’t too bad.

  I slipped into the room Hayden and I were sharing and didn’t feel so fucking good about myself anymore. She lay on her side in the pajamas I’d tossed the night before. Her hands were tucked beneath her cheek and she looked like a fucking angel when she slept. Unfortunately it was one tired, wrung out and sorrowful looking angel.

  The girl looked pitiful. Deep dark circles under each eye, her skin pale and with her deep, chestnut, brown hair, it made her look ghostly. Though she slept, it wasn’t an easy one. A wrinkle of distress between her eyes. I bent, I couldn’t help myself, and kissed her cheek lightly. I straightened and my tongue flicked out over my lips unbidden and brought the salt of her dried tears with it.

  She sucked in a tremulous deep breath and her beautiful, bright green eyes flicked open and snapped to me.

  “You’re back…” and the sound of her voice was the sweetest thing I’d ever heard.

  I plucked at the sleeve of her pajamas.

  “I threw these away,” I said. She rolled her eyes at me.

  “And I rescued them from the trash,” she argued back.

  “No dice. Take ‘em off,” I said and smiled serenely.

  “They’re my pajamas Reaver,” she persisted and I raised an eyebrow.

  “I said take ‘em off…” she looked at me and tried to change the subject.

  “How did it go?” she asked.


  “Got us invited to a beach party tomorrow night,” I said, it was her turn to arch one delicate dark brow.

  “I see. So your winning personality won out this time huh?” she said and I laughed softly.

  “I’m waiting Hayden,” I said.

  “Well you’re going to be waiting a long time,” she quipped and stuck her tongue out at me and I sailed right over the limits of my self-control. I kicked off my shoes and let my cut fall to the floor. Yeah, the floor, the mother fucking floor, my cut which we treated better than our countries’ flag. I bounded onto the bed and trapped her between my knees.

  My cock was straining against my jeans but I didn’t want that, not yet. No, I couldn’t help myself I wanted her fear. Her eyes flashed wide and she put up her hands and I easily captured both her wrists in one of my hands and pinned them both to the bed up over her head.

  “Reaver! What are you doing!?” she asked, voice high and breathy with panic and I drank it in like fine wine, letting it soak into every one of my senses. Her heart beat rapidly inside the cage of her ribs, so hard, so fast, like a little rabbit’s, fluttering against the insides of my thighs through the thick denim there.

  I looked down on her impersonally. All personality, all feeling bled from my eyes, my features slack and expressionless and met her eyes with that of my stone, cold, killer’s. Her fear ratcheted up a notch and she bucked beneath me.

  “Shhhh,” I soothed and it had the opposite effect of the intent of the noise, just like I knew it would. She gasped and went very still when I showed her what I had in my other hand.

  “I’m a fucked up individual Hayden,” I said and waited for a moment. “Do you believe me?” I asked her.

  “Yes and no,” she said softly, her eyes glued to the black and silver handle of the switchblade in my hand. Her answer perplexed me and would bear further scrutiny later but right now I wanted to play. I needed to play.

  “Do you trust me, Hayden?” I asked and my voice was cold and deep. I expected her to say no, to struggle to begin to cry but again she surprised me. She swallowed hard, her expression resolute and she told me, unequivocally,

  “Yes.”

  It was all over her face, in the deepest facets of her eyes, holy fucking shit… She was going to let me do whatever I wanted. I had to test my limits with her. I always had to test my fucking limits… I flicked the switch and the sharp blade came free of the knife’s handle. Hayden sucked in a breath as sharp as the blade and went very, very still. She trusted me, sure, but that didn’t keep her from being afraid and I lapped that shit up.

  “I don’t like these pajamas,” I told her and snagged the front with the tip of my blade. She looked down her body at me and I carefully punched a hole in the pink cotton. I ran the knife tip along the inside of the material as far as I could go. Up the chest, all the way up the arm the material parting smoothly before the blade, gaping behind it to give me glimpses of her silky smooth skin.

  Hayden moaned, she mother fucking moaned and I nearly jizzed in my fucking pants from the sound. Her breast showed through the gaping material, the nipple dusky, a deeper nude against her creamy skin and I wanted so badly to take it into my mouth and turn that little moan into something deeper, throatier… decadent-sweet, a sound I could suck on and have melt on my tongue like fine chocolate.

  I captured her eyes with my own and gave her a dark, wickedly sinful smile and cut the ugly ass pajama set off her lithe and sexy body. She glistened with moisture at the apex of her thighs and I wanted to taste her. Finger her and tease her into an orgasm, bury myself balls deep inside of her but I did none of those things, instead I folded the blade back into its hilt and I relinquished her wrists and backed off both her and the bed abruptly. Pulling myself back from the brink, but just barely.

  My breath came hot and heavy and I swept her beautiful body with my eyes and wrestled the beast back into its cage. She covered her chest with her arms and curled up hiding her beautiful pussy with it’s barely there wisp of hair from my sight.

  “I’m… I…” I was sorry but not in the way she would think. I couldn’t’ bring myself to say it out loud. I didn’t want her to think I didn’t want her because holy mother fucking balls I wanted her so damned bad it felt like my nuts were in a vice right now.

  “I’ll buy you something different Baby, I promise,” I said and like a jackass I bolted leaving the door swinging wide behind me. I needed distance I needed away from her right now because what I just did was so not cool, not after yesterday not with the hurt that had been put on her.

  Holy fucking shit, what the fuck did I just do?

  I needed to get a grip and fast.

  Chapter 4

  Hayden…

  I didn’t know what the hell that was but I had never been so aroused, or so shaken in my life. I stared wide eyed at the open bedroom door that Reaver had just disappeared through, stunned by what had just transpired. I felt so many things all at once and shook as I got off the bed, leaving the ruin of my pajamas behind on the expensive sheets. I padded barefoot and on shaky legs to the door and shut it before any of the other guests happened by.

  What was that!? What the hell was I feeling!? I took several deep breaths.

  I didn’t understand.

  Ashton had told me about the time she had let Trigger and Reaver share her, about how gentle and patient and amazing both men had been and I confess, I had listened with rapt attention. Daydreamed about it. Had even fantasized about it on more than one occasion during Andy’s long absences while he was away on business.

  I colored faintly. When I say I had fantasized about it, I didn’t mean about Trigger. Never about him. When I closed my eyes it was always Reaver I saw in my fantasies, in my dreams… I admit, shamefully so, I had even pictured Reaver behind my closed eyelids a time or two when it had been Andy sucking on my neck, moving inside me…

  I scrubbed my face with my hands as tears welled. Not because I was upset about what happened or how I’d just been treated… The fact that what had just happened didn’t bother me was a conundrum for another time. No, what bothered me was that he had left. That Reaver didn’t stay with me…

  What was I doing so wrong that I sent every man from my bed running, practically screaming, for the hills?

  Well by God I aimed to find out and I would be damned if I would take any vague half-truths from Mr. Butler. I yanked on the pair of shorts from earlier and didn’t even bother with underwear. I pulled the tee from earlier over my head, tossed the ruined scraps of cotton in the trash and shrugged my feet into my flip flops striding purposefully for the door.

  The footwear made an angry slapping sound against the soles of my feet as I strode quickly for the back door and bounced lightly down the back steps. I found Reaver just the other side of the B&B’s back gate, head bowed; his long fingered hand palming the back of his neck.

  “Hayden I am so sor…” the words died in his throat when he caught sight of the angry tears glistening in my eyes.

  “Why did you stop!?” I demanded and he looked taken aback.

  “What is it Reaver? Huh!? What is so wrong with me!?” I demanded and my voice broke on a devastated, angry, pain filled sob.

  “No Baby no… no no no no no,” he repeated and he came at me, I took a violent step back, bogged down in the soft sand and fell on my ass. That was it. My humiliation was complete. I cried like I have never cried in my life before and Reaver’s strong arms went around me and pulled me unceremoniously into his lap.

  “I am such a fucking failure,” he crooned above me.

  “I don’t understand. Why?” I demanded.

  “Fuck Hayden. I’ve made such a giant mess of things I don’t even know where to begin!” he said and let out the most frustrated sound I’ve ever heard come out of someone.

  “I don’t understand…” I said and he tipped my face up to look at him and all I saw in his eyes was gentleness and a deep seeded hurt.

  “Baby I’ve loved you from the f
irst moment I saw you. All I’ve ever wanted since that day was to see you happy and I thought…” He squeezed his eyes shut and bowed his head, turning his head to the side. I put my hands on either side of his face and forced him around to look at me.

  “Tell me,” I demanded because I really, really needed to hear this. My soul was thirsty for it.

  “I thought you were better off without me. I thought you were better off with him and as time wore on I tried so hard to let it the fuck go but I just wanted you more and more and what that fucker was doing to you… The fucking neglect, benign at first maybe… but what he did to you yesterday, don’t you understand!?” He looked at me and the desperation in his clear, wintery blue eyes was almost too much to bear.

  “I’ve killed men for a lot less, I’ve killed them for a lot more… I’m one seriously twisted fuck and you deserve so much better than the likes of me!” he said harshly when it was clear to him I wasn’t getting it.

  “All I wanted to do was bring you out here to protect you, but then I go and do that and shit Hayden, I just don’t know if I can protect you from the monster inside of me.” He tucked my head under his chin and held me, rocking me I think as much to comfort himself as to comfort me.

  This was the man that Ashton had described to me. The one I fantasized about but I think as of a few minutes ago I learned there were other things to fantasize about. A delicious shiver went up my spine and he held me tighter.

  “So you don’t think I’m repulsive?” I asked weakly. I felt pathetically insecure but I think I had a pretty good reason to be.

  “Baby you’re more addictive to me than Smack,” he said.

  I knew that about him already. That he’d had a heroin addiction. It was how he and Trigger had met. Both of them addicted. Both of them desperate for something else, something different. Trigger had craved the stability, the structure, of a brotherhood. One like he’d had in the military… So it was his idea to replace the military with the motorcycle club. He had convinced Reaver to join with him.