Tattered & Torn Page 9

  “Um, Hayden?” I ventured.

  “Yeah?” she smiled brightly at me.

  “Do you think you could, um, make an appointment with your stylist for me? I’ll pay you back with my first check I…” Her smile broadened and she cut me off.

  “Sure,” she picked up her phone and shot off a text and was surprised when it bounced back almost immediately. “She can take you this afternoon if you’re up for it.”

  I smiled, “That would be good. I need to go by Soul Fuel and pick up something and then I can go to Ashton’s,” I told Reaver.

  “Not Sunshine’s, all the paperwork and shit is at Revelator’s. I’ll text her and let her know you’re coming.” Ghost was leaning on his forearms on the granite countertop watching the whole exchange with inquisitive hazel eyes.

  “If you can wait for about an hour for me to run the bike home and get my truck I can take you,” he said quietly. I snorted indelicately.

  “I’m not the Princess you’re forever calling me, I can ride you know.” I crossed my arms.

  “It’s cold Honey,” he said and his voice was that kind soothing tone or maybe it was just soothing to me, I nodded.

  “If I can ride in February with snow on the ground, I can ride in November when it’s dry.” I tilted my head, daring him to argue. He smiled instead.

  “Okay Princess. Have it your way.” I got off my stool and kissed my big cousin on the cheek then went around the counter to hug Hayden who hugged me back fiercely.

  “I’ll pick you up and get you over to Suzanne at around two.”

  “Okay,” I went upstairs and pulled down my leather jacket off a hanger and a messenger bag off the top shelf. I found my gloves in my sock drawer and brought my gray warm infinity scarf off the hook on the back of my bedroom door. I went back downstairs and encountered Ghost in the entryway, lacing up his boots.

  “Bundle up, Princess,” he said with a smile. I wrapped my neck and the lower half of my face with the scarf wordlessly and zipped up my coat. I pulled on my gloves after slinging the messenger bag across my chest and I was good to go. My wallet and phone were already where they belonged so I was set. He nodded after looking me over and I pulled a spare helmet down off the top shelf of the hall closet.

  Truthfully I was a little giddy inside. I loved to ride and it had been too long for me. I slipped a pair of sunglasses from my outside jacket breast pocket to protect my eyes from the wind and with a last wave at Reaver followed Ghost out to the driveway.

  He had a beautiful Triumph America, a deep midnight blue with white accent and buttery soft black leather seats. He took extremely good care of his ride and it showed. The chrome gleaming softly under the overcast sky. I’d ridden with Ghost a time or two before but always with the rest of the MC, never alone like now. He straddled the cruiser and turned her on and I suddenly felt nervous.

  “C’mon,” he said and held out his hand to me. I went up and obediently threw a leg over the rumbling bike, using Ghosts strong shoulders to steady myself. His gloved hand went over my own, holding it briefly to the shoulder of his cut before patting it twice in reassurance. I let my arms wend around him and wiggled a bit to get comfortable.

  “You good!?” he called over his shoulder, his voice muffled by the bike and whatever he had over his face. I nodded, realized it was fifty-fifty on if he could see it or not, but he must have because he put the bike in gear and we were moving. It was a brisk ride to Soul Fuel but I loved it anyways. The only awkward bit? The tumultuous feelings I was having where Ghost was concerned.

  I got off the bike and he backed it into a parking stall next to another rat bike looking thing with a Sacred Hearts sticker on the gas tank. I pursed my lips. He pulled the thing protecting his face off, which made him look a little badass when he had it on, and sniffed.

  “What’s the matter?” he asked. I pulled off my sunglasses and pulled my scarf down off my own face.

  “Should we be advertising?” I asked gesturing towards the bike next to his. He twisted his lips and looked a little lost in thought for a second.

  “I’ll mention it to Trig,” he said and I nodded. I didn’t want anyone else hurt. Andy was already my fault… Trig and Sunshine and Rev losing their jobs, that was all on me too. I couldn’t bear it if anything else happened to anyone. A hand gripped my elbow through the leather of my jacket and I jumped.

  “Hey, easy Princess. It’s just me.” Ghost swallowed and his somber expression just piled the guilt higher.

  “Sorry. I just don’t want to see anything happen to anyone else,” I pulled my elbow from his grip and he let me go.

  “Is that what you think Honey? That this is all your fault?” he asked. I didn’t answer, merely bowed my head and ducked past him into the shop.

  “Hi Shelly!” Mandy called as she opened the door for me. They weren’t quite open yet.

  “Hey Red,” Ghost called.

  “Hi Ghost! Come on in,” we went into the shop and I nodded to the brother in the back. He gave me a chin lift then stood up when Ghost walked up to him. They grasped hands and pulled each other into one another.

  “Hey man,” the mystery Brother said. He was taller than Ghost who was probably only five foot seven. The brother was probably around my five foot nine, so not that much taller. He had long black hair that curled down his back and I think was some kind of Native American but he had these strange swirling line tattoos over half his face that I’d never seen before and an accent to him that was almost Australian but not, British but not quite that either.

  “What is it girly?” he asked me, and grinned his teeth very white in his rich dusky skin.

  “Nothing!” I jumped and blushed, ashamed at being caught staring.

  Mandy smiled, “Zeb is from New Zealand,” she explained, “He was telling me all about it. It sounds beautiful.”

  “Oh, it’s nice to meet you,” I nodded and he smiled and again my eyes were drawn to the beautiful swirling patterns on his face.

  “I get that look a lot here in America,” he said and I flinched. He laughed good naturedly, “Jumpy thing ain’tcha girl?”

  “Yes. Sorry,” I blushed harder; then a bit emboldened by his good natured attitude, I asked.

  “What are they?” indicating the tattoos.

  “My people are Māori. It’s a way to connect with my past,” he said and the look on his face was both proud and tranquil. I nodded.

  “It’s nice to meet you Zeb,” I repeated, “Thank you for telling me. Mandy, the stuff I need..?”

  “Right where you left it Honey,” she said and I slipped off behind the counter and into the back office. I gathered the laptop and charger and went back out after putting some papers in a better order; away where they wouldn’t get jumbled or hurt, seeing as I wouldn’t be back until Monday.

  “Ready,” I told Ghost and he looked up. He stood from where he’d been seated over near Zeb, talking. The laptop was an unfamiliar weight at my hip.

  “Make you guys some coffee?” Everett asked.

  “No place to keep it on the bike,” Ghost flashed her a half smile.

  “What you can’t get creative?” Dray asked.

  “You guys been here the whole time?” I asked skeptical.

  “Store room,” Mandy said rolling her eyes.

  “Hey! Inventory got taken and he only distracted me a little,” Everett winked.

  “Need things ordered on Monday?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” Everett nodded.

  “Numbers on the desk, I’ll run them and if you leave a list of phone numbers I’ll make the calls,” I said. Mandy beamed at Everett.

  “The Lord bless you and keep you Darlin’! I’m glad to be rid of it, I just want to make and sell coffee.”

  “I just want to make chocolate,” Mandy nodded.

  “Well I just want to figure out numbers and logistics,” I said.

  “Match made in nerd heaven,” Dray grunted and Everett smacked him. Zeb choked on a laugh. Dray grabbed Everett aro
und the waist and hauled her up tight against his body, cutting off her laughter filled squeal with his mouth as he kissed her. Mandy huffed out a sigh.

  “They’re like this constantly!” she complained but her grin belied any real complaint or admonishment. You could see the redhead was over the moon and ludicrously happy for her childhood friend and truth be told I felt a surge of the very same for Dray in my own heart.

  “I’m really happy for you,” I murmured and his dark eyes held some softness for me for a split second. He pulled Everett back against his body and looked me over.

  “You need to take better care of yourself Baby Girl,” he said.

  “I’m trying,” I promised, even though it was only half true.

  “You ready to go?” Ghost asked.

  “Yeah,” I nodded a little too rapidly and wound my scarf around my face and pulled my gloves on as I went for the door. He got to it first and held it open for me.

  “Bye all!” I said with forced cheer, voice muffled by my scarf, sure, but also by my choking up a little.

  “You okay Princess?” Ghost asked gently when we were out by his bike.

  “Yeah,” I lied, when truth be told I wasn’t really sure. It was like this a lot lately, one minute I felt like I was back on solid ground and the next the world was tilting violently on its axis.

  I know it was a shitty thing to feel, but I was jealous of Dray and Everett, Reaver and Hayden… All I’d ever wanted, from the time I was a child, was to be loved like that and now here I was, all grown up and twenty-two and just as lonely as ever. I was beginning to think that I didn’t deserve it. You know? That all that there was for me was some quick enjoyment and then they’d be on to the next. Like I was just a stepping stone before they were on to the next big thing. I felt downtrodden and like a door mat in so many ways and then here was Ghost who didn’t want me but was hanging around me out of what? Pity? I felt restless and irritated all of a sudden and I couldn’t stop the hurt that had started to ache and burn in my heart and so I asked him…

  “Why are you doing this?”

  “What?”

  “All of this! Any of this? Why?” I asked and sniffed. It was cold, my nose was starting to run. Yeah. That was it.

  Ghost’s gloved hands slipped from the handlebars and he sat back on the bike and regarded me. He pulled his mask thing off so I could see his face and looked me over.

  “I grew the fuck up,” he stated as if that explained everything. “Or at least I’m trying to.” I looked at him hard.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I crossed my arms, as much to appear a hard ass as it was to hold myself together.

  “Let me take you out,” he said.

  I raised my eyebrows, “What? I’m sorry?” I blinked.

  “Let me come to your door, pick you up, take you to dinner, take you out… You know?”

  Was he asking me on a date?

  My shoulders dropped. “You want to go on a date? Now. After everything..?” I closed my eyes and shook my head trying to wrap my brain around it.

  “Has to be Tuesday night,” he said.

  “Why?” I asked suspicious.

  “Want to take you someplace special, to see something, but it’s only going to happen on Tuesday night.” I let my arms fall to my sides.

  “Why?” I asked again, and felt like I was starting to sound like a broken record. Ghost flipped off his helmet and ran a hand through his silky looking short brown hair gripping a fistful and bowing his head in frustration before letting it go and giving me his gaze full on. My breath was stolen right out of my lungs with its intensity.

  “There’s no screwing up with you is there?” he asked harshly and I felt myself take a faltering step back.

  “I…”

  “Listen to me. I. Fucked. Up. I want nothing more than to go back in time and kill that son of a bitch the moment he laid eyes on you! I can’t go back! I can’t kill him again! You’ve gotta realize, I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m not trying to dick you over, I’m trying to be there for you. I’m trying to help you! Now are you going to let me do something nice for you? You going to let me take you out on Tuesday night or not?” he demanded and I blinked, frozen to the spot.

  “Yes!” I blurted.

  “Fine! Good! I’ll pick you up at eight, now get on the fucking bike!” he slammed his helmet back on his head and savagely yanked the chinstrap as he twisted around to face forward. I got onto the bike behind him but not before catching everyone inside staring at us wide eyed and dubious through the front windows of Soul Fuel. I felt my cheeks flame but didn’t have time to think too much about it because Ghost had us underway.

  We rode in silence all the way to Revelator’s house, which, by the way, was an overgrown dump in severe need of repair. It was way past needing just a new coat of paint. New roof, new windows, hell, new everything was required to make this place look habitable. Ghost pulled up to the curb and as soon as I was off the bike nodded once in my direction.

  “Tuesday, eight o’clock!” he called over the regular chug of his engine and I nodded. I couldn’t be sure through the mask thing he was wearing to protect himself from the cold but I think he was smiling, his hazel eyes definitely holding a triumphant gleam through the clear lenses of his safety glasses.

  Son of a bitch.

  What had I just agreed to?

  Chapter 8

  Ghost…

  “How’s Shelly?” Trigger asked and I scoffed.

  “One giant pain in the ass,” I answered, but it wasn’t fair of me. I knew it the instant I said it.

  “Frustrating as Hell and a total mess?” he asked.

  “You interpret me so well, Sir.” I handed him another chunk of drywall and he held it against the studs for me to screw into place.

  “I said knock it off with that shit!” He scowled at me and I sighed.

  “I’m batting a thousand today with my mouth,” I said and we were silent for a time, well except for the high pitched whine of the drill as it drove the screws home. Trig sighed.

  “We had some good times over there too,” he conceded.

  “Yeah, you remember that time we got Knack?” I asked. Trig barked a laugh.

  “Which time? It was open season on that guy.”

  “He was always so damned easy! Remember the firecrackers?” Trigger laughed outright.

  “Dude we were on the LT’s shit list for days for that one, don’t even get me started on how pissed the cook was, that was his favorite pot!” I laughed. We’d stolen the cook’s pot and set firecrackers off by Knack’s head while he’d slept. We were assholes like that.

  “Fun times,” I stated.

  “Hell yeah. Should pull that shit on Dragon or Dray some time.”

  He grinned and we both howled when Dragon’s voice boomed from the next room, “I fuckin’ heard that!”

  “Seriously though, what’s the deal? I see you been spending a lot of time the last few days with wounded bird.”

  I nodded, “Dude, I was a fuckin’ asshole,” I groused. Trig raised his eyebrows.

  “How so?” he demanded. I sighed again.

  “I got it into my fuckin’ head how it was supposed to be. You know? You’re raised with these ideas that chicks are supposed to be all cuddly and soft and shit and then here comes this smokin’ hot chick and…” I shook my head.

  “Seriously man. Spill it. No bullshit. What was the deal? She tried six ways to Sunday to get your attention and we all knew you had the hots for her…” I nodded.

  “Yeah, for her, not for every other guy in the fuckin’ MC.” I shuddered. Triggers eyebrows went up.

  “Can’t deal with the fact that women like sex too?” he asked and sounded almost disappointed.

  “No! No… wait… uh, what?”

  “Derek sometimes you are the biggest dipshit!” Trig sighed.

  “Don’t I know it?” I set down the drill and faced my old CO and friend.

  “I wanted her. I still want her, I just
want her to want me. Just me.” I crossed my arms.

  “Ah ha. So this is less about Shelly’s being…” he groped for the right words.

  I winced and supplied, “A slut?”

  “Watch it asshole! That’s my baby cousin I’m pretty sure you’re talking about over here.” Reaver walked some more drywall through the door, Data on the other end of the panels.

  “Sorry man,” I said. Reaver shrugged.

  “Can’t really argue with the label but look at it this way, a guy goes out and nails whatever pussy he wants and he’s a fucking stud. My baby cuz does it, you call her a Ho, or a slut or all sorts of other shitty things. Who’s the fucking dick out of that scenario? Sure as hell isn’t Shelly.” He gave me that icy stare of his and Trig stepped between us.

  “As I was saying, so this is less about Shelly; it’s more about you.” I looked up at Trig and frowned.

  “Me?” I asked. Trigger nodded and Reaver was still pinning me with an unfriendly look.

  “I’m out of here, too Dr. Phil for me,” Data muttered and he left the room.

  “Insecure much dude?” Reaver asked me, eyebrows going up. My mouth dropped open and I wound up, about to smart back, when Trigger stopped me with a hand on my chest.

  “Seriously, think before you speak right here Ghost,” he said and I shut my gob and thought about it.

  I’d been with a grand total of two girls and my right hand, sometimes my left if I was feeling adventurous. I stared off into space. The military had kept me seriously fucking busy and both of those relationships had ended because the girls had cheated while I was on deployment. Trig knew that. It was the last one back in Kansas who’d really busted my heart. I’d come back from my last tour to find her seven months pregnant when I’d left over nine months before.

  “Fuck me,” I said and hung my head. I’d been crucifying Shelly for the sins of my ex’s.

  “Just because my cousin gets around doesn’t mean she’s unfaithful,” Reaver said quietly, “Just the opposite, she’s fiercely loyal. She’s just given up. If you’d ever bothered to really talk to her, to get her to open up you might know that about her.” Reaver looked aside.