Damaged & Dangerous Read online

  “Yer results,” he said and I swallowed hard. I unfolded the page with shaking fingers. Negative. Negative all the way down the line. I sank to the floor, my legs folding under me with relief.

  “Well, I’m clear,” Thirteen said and looked over to me and down. “Shit, Dani, what’s wrong!?” he snatched the page from my hand and read it over and frowned.

  “You’re fine,” he said confused.

  “You might wanna hold her or something, she’s having the same deal Em had.” Dray commented dryly. Thirteen crouched, and folded me into his arms, and I burst into relieved sobs.

  I was clean. Last hurdle vaulted. I was clean and I was clear of the Suicide Kings. I was free. Thirteen held me and looked at Dray, helpless and horrified.

  “It’s cool, Man. Just let her vent,” he said and he motioned to the others sitting around to get up and get out, leaving just me and Thirteen alone. He smoothed a hand over my hair and made me look at him.

  “You’re okay, Baby, you’re fine! Shhhhhh,” he soothed, and held me until the last of my tears dried up. I was elated. As soon as I had my shit together from my latest meltdown I felt lighter. The cry had been cathartic and I felt cleansed in a way that no shower or bath could accomplish.

  “You okay?” he asked me.

  I nodded against him. “Yeah,” I said and my voice sounded piteous, even to me.

  “Okay, come on, let’s get you up off the floor then.” I rose with him and he took me in to one of the bathrooms and sat me on the closed lid of the toilet.

  “Be right back,” he returned with towels and we showered together. He held me and I held him and we traced each other’s forms with delicate touches of fingertips and lips, and in some cases tongues. There was no sex, not yet. The time wasn’t right for either of us. We still needed to heal. Once showered, we dressed comfortably.

  “Guess we should rejoin the land of the living, eh?” he asked. I smiled and nodded. We joined a bunch of the other guys in what was dubbed the media room, where a couch and recliners and a few oversized beanbag chairs resided.

  “What’re we watching?” Thirteen asked, pulling me down between his legs and against his chest.

  “Trying to figure that out,” Archer grunted. He looked me over and there was no trace of hostility this time, just a thinly veiled curiosity.

  “We got Guardians of the Galaxy?” Thirteen asked him.

  “Yeah, why?”

  “Put it in, Dani doesn’t get why I call her Rocket,” Archer shrugged and obliged him, sliding the disc into the tray. The movie was funny and the raccoon named Rocket a brazen little guy for his size. I laughed and enjoyed myself thoroughly.

  When the movie ended, Reaver looked at us. “Okay, now we don’t get why you call her Rocket, fill some of us in who missed it.”

  “The Suicide Kings called me Raccoon, on account of my always having two black eyes,” I murmured. There were several dark looks being traded.

  “Gotcha,” Reaver said and no more was said about it. We went to bed after the movie, I waited for Thirteen to initiate anything sexual but he simply held me, kissing my forehead. I slept better that night than I had ever slept before.

  The next day he found me in the first bay of the large garage outbuilding, straightening my workbench and firing up equipment to ensure the circuit would take it.

  “What’re you doing?” he asked, and dropped into a seat nearby.

  “Making sure the system you have in place can handle the load; so far, so good.” I shrugged and sorted my tools carefully.

  “Getting back into it?” he asked sounding wary.

  “Going to try. I’m not going anywhere, if you’re worried,” I said softly.

  “You and me have been under one hell of a strain,” he admitted.

  “Together,” I pointed out. “I don’t want to see this fail before I’ve given it a chance to start, Thirteen.” He pulled me between his legs and held me lightly by my hips.

  “Me, either.” He looked up into my eyes, “Wanna show me how some of this works?” I gave him a tiny smile and nodded, surprised that he grasped things rather quickly.

  “I never asked you what you did for a living,” I said finally.

  “I’m a welder. Worked on a riverboat for a while. One month on, one month off. Brutal schedule but for a single guy not so bad, just wanted to move on to something new, put down roots. This place seemed like a good place to start. Dragon is a solid Pres, it’s the mother chapter, and they’d gone legit. Was supposed to be no more violence, until the Suicide Kings brought the fight to our door.”

  “When it’s done?” I asked.

  “Figured I’d do what I could to help you. Maybe pick up a new trade or go back to welding someplace land-based.” He shrugged.

  “Okay.” I humored him, “Where are we going to live? Here?”

  “For the time being, until we’ve finished what was started, then I figured we’d talk, figure out what we wanted and go from there. The possibilities are endless, Baby. We can do whatever we want.” I narrowed my eyes, and cupped his face with my hands.

  “Apartment or house?” I asked.

  “I’d like to buy a house, what do you think about that?” his voice had grown husky and I drew closer to him.

  “Never lived in a house, I think it sounds nice,” I admitted.

  “All right,” he said against my lips, and then we were kissing. His mouth moved sure against mine and I sighed, and eased into his embrace.

  “I want you,” he growled.

  “I’m right here,” I told him. He swept some things off my worktable and boosted me up onto it. It was the perfect height and soon our mouths were crashing together. His hands went to the button and fly of my jeans just as mine scrabbled against his. It was several frantic jerking movements as we unbuttoned and unzipped. I raised myself off the worktable, putting my hands flat against the metal.

  “Shit! I don’t have a condom,” he griped.

  “I had an IUD put in,” I gasped. He growled, a deep and appreciative sound, and nipped at the side of my neck as I kicked off my shoes and he got rid of my jeans. The metal of the worktable was cold against my ass but I didn’t care.

  I was careful of his one shoulder, pulling him against me by his ribs, the cotton of his tee so soft beneath my palms. He smelled ridiculously good, of clean male and fresh laundry. His hands found my hips and pulled me to the edge of the table, and I moaned as I wrapped my legs around his hips. Just as he was about to enter me, the side door opened.

  I shrieked and tucked myself against Thirteen, hiding. I had no clue who had come in but hiding seemed like a really good idea.

  “Oh, shit! Sorry!” a male voice cried and I heard the door slam. Thirteen held me close and started laughing. I gave him a baleful look.

  “Oh, come on! We finally go there and this!? How is that not funny?” he asked. I gave him a light shove and he handed me my pants and panties, hauling his own jeans up. It took a ridiculous amount of him rearranging himself to get his jeans on comfortably. I raised an eyebrow, noting that underwear wasn’t really his thing. He shrugged, “Too constrictive. Never liked it.” I laughed and hopped to the floor, buttoning and zipping myself up.

  The side door opened and a voice called in, “Is the coast clear!?”

  “Yeah,” I called back.

  Revelator came through the door, his eyes squeezed tightly shut, bitching, “Oh God! It burns!”

  “What does?” Thirteen asked, grinning.

  “The sight of your naked ass! Straight into my brain!” Thirteen laughed.

  “That’s what you get for not knocking first.”

  “Duly noted. No worries, Rocket, I didn’t see anything.” I nodded and the uneasy tension in my shoulders loosened.

  “Did you need something?” I asked.

  “Uh, yeah, I wanted to talk to you, actually.” He slid up onto one of the tall stools near my work table and I pushed myself back up onto it, swinging my legs.

  “What about?”<
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  “I asked my girl to marry me before I found out I knocked her up, but it was sort of half-assed and impromptu. Anyways, I told her I would ask her again properly but I sort of need a ring, so I was wondering if you maybe wanted to trade?” he buried his hands in the pockets of his long, denim shorts and leaned back on the stool precariously.

  “Trade how? I mean you want a ring, obviously, but what do you want to trade me for it?” He’d piqued my interest with his approach and the grin that spread across his face told me he knew it.

  “Swap you skills. You make my girl an engagement ring, I’ll fix your tattoo.” I stilled.

  “What do you mean you’ll fix it?” I asked quietly. Could something like that be fixed?

  “It’s what I do. Me, Trig, and Dis, we’re all tattoo artists. I mean, I’m the resident piercer, too, but yeah. Trig and me are the best cover-up artists in the state.”

  “Cover up?” I echoed, “How do you cover up something like this?”

  “Well I’d have to see it but generally using pattern and color and by doing something bigger… you okay?” I’m pretty sure I looked ill, because Thirteen took me by the hand.

  “I’m afraid of needles,” I confessed, “It was hell being held down and having this put on. Only thing I’m afraid of more is burning, which is why Pig tried to brand me in the first place.” Revelator considered me.

  “Was it bad?” he asked, “The sensation, I mean. I mean of course it was bad, being afraid and all.”

  I thought about it. “Yes and no.”

  “Guess the question is, do you want to live with that thing the rest of your life?” he met my gaze and I stilled.

  “I’ll start your ring now, today. Do you have a picture of your girlfriend?” He gave me a winning, victorious smile and pulled out his phone.

  “Don’t tell her I showed you these, they uh, they’re supposed to be just for me but they’re the only pictures I have right now.” He handed me his phone and, oh my! The pictures were very erotic in nature but also very tastefully done.

  “Wow, that’s quite the tattoo,” I mentioned.

  “It’s not, actually. It’s Sharpie, come to think of it I can do the same thing on you to show you how we can disguise that thing on you before you commit to any needles. I mean, the tattoo will look way better and be a lot cleaner but it’ll give you an idea… Is she listening to a word I’m saying?”

  “I’m listening,” I said but my voice sounded far away even to me. I knew exactly what I wanted to do for this ring and was already taking tools to wax to carve out a three-dimensional image for a mold.

  “Okay. I’ll uh, I’ll come back,” he said.

  “Okay, leave the phone,” I said when he went to pick it up. He gave an incredulous laugh, said something to Thirteen, and left. Thirteen kissed my temple and went and sat down. I kept Revelator’s phone awake but finally the screen went dark and I frowned.

  “Damn!” Thirteen chuckled, unlocked it for me, went back to his little video game on his phone.

  The images inspired me. So full of love and light and trust, the ivy vines drawn onto his woman and her coloring speaking to me. I had visions of white gold and a diamond solitaire. The wedding band, when the engagement ring was slipped into it, bracketed the solitaire with three marquis-cut emeralds to either side forming twin ivy leaves. If I did this right then the bands would be the vine, and I planned on making it thin but strong to support the daily wear an engagement and wedding band required.

  I worked diligently and I worked late, getting the wax into the clay and into the kiln to bake overnight and form the mold required to cast the pieces. This was not going to be an easy set, but I could do it. Thirteen and I wandered back into the clubhouse, where we found several of the guys indulging in fried chicken at one of the tables. Rev was one of them and I gave him back his phone. Disney was sitting with an open sketchbook at the next table, drawing.

  “Here,” Rev turned a chair around so the back faced the table. “Straddle this and have something to eat.” I did, and squeaked as he lifted my shirt and tucked it under the band of my bra, up out of his way. My jeans rode low enough that he had a clear view of my lower back.

  “I’m gonna move these down.” He plucked at my underwear, and I nodded and he tucked them down into the waistband of my jeans. I heard him suck his teeth.

  “Hey Dis! C’mere, Puddin’.” Disney got up, came over, and stood behind me. I was ravenous so I had a piece of chicken and tried to settle my creeping nerves over feeling so exposed.

  “Shouldn’t be too hard. What do you want to cover it?” he asked me.

  I swallowed, “I don’t know. Never thought about it.”

  “You really should be asking Trig, not me,” Disney commented, “Flowers would be nice, though. Like a drift of them down this way. Something feminine, something pretty.”

  “Yeah, go get Trig, let’s brainstorm.” Disney wandered off as I worked at finishing my meal. I ate silently as the three of them stood or sat around behind me talking. Thirteen sat beside me, smiling at me, this secret little encouraging smile that put me at ease.

  “That’d be cool. Hey, Dani?”

  “Mmm?” I asked, my mouth full.

  “You be cool if we took this back to Thirteen’s room and busted out the Sharpies?” Rev asked.

  “Uhhhh…”

  “Please,” Disney made a slightly rude noise, “I’m gay and Trig and Rev would lop their own dicks off before they’d cheat, or hurt their Ol’ Ladies. We promise to be nothing but professional.” Thirteen captured my eyes and the perfect trust I saw in his green-blue eyes had me softly agreeing.

  “All right.” We went back to his room.

  “Ever get a massage?” Trigger asked, I shook my head. “Well, crap. Okay, I know this sounds bad, but get naked, get under the sheet and lay on your stomach, and when you’re set have Thirteen let us in.” I blinked at them, bewildered, but they were out the door and shutting it behind them.

  “It’s cool, they trade in slinging ink under skin; they need skin to see what they’re doing. This is the best way to preserve your modesty and they know it.” Thirteen explained softly.

  “How come you don’t have any tattoos?” I asked, kicking off my shoes.

  “Just never could settle on anything I wanted permanently inked under my skin. Too indecisive, I guess.” He lifted the blankets for me to get under. I lay on my stomach and he motioned for me to get in the center of the bed. Once settled, he draped the sheet up to my shoulders and folded the rest of the blankets down at my feet.

  “Gonna let ‘em in. I’ll be here the whole time.” He let the guys in. They were talking about flowers and trees, necklaces and little girls and all manner of different things. Shading and color and light source and shadow, all of it in rapid succession to where I just let my fatigued mind wander rather than follow it.

  “Gonna fold down the sheet, you cool?” Trig asked.

  “Yes.”

  They all sat around me chatting and finally Revelator said, “Might tickle,” before he started to draw over the spot on my back marred with Pig-Pen’s name. I closed my eyes. It did tickle faintly but wasn’t too bad. The four men sat on the bed and the three artists sat around me, arguing jovially about colors and design elements, and I had to smile. They weren’t seeing me as a person at all but it wasn’t upsetting or malicious. I really was nothing but a raw canvas to them and there was something soothing about it. They didn’t see pussy, tits, and ass. They were just working. Playing around with their craft, being artistic, and I let them. It put me at ease and before I knew it, I was fast asleep, Thirteen’s hand grasped loosely in mine.

  I don’t know how long I slept but Thirteen was whispering in my ear, “Dani. Dani, Baby, wake up.” I opened my eyes and stretched, slightly stiff from being in the same position too long.

  “Mmm, what time is it?” I asked, yawning.

  “Time for you to look.” Revelator was grinning, a long mirror in his hands. Trigger hande
d me a hand-held mirror and I positioned it over my shoulder. The guys held the long mirror over the bed and I gasped. The entire left side of my back from my shoulder to my ass was a tree, the branches sweeping up and onto the rest of my back, jagged and black; stark, with no leaves covering and no flowers either, but in a drift at the tree’s bottom were gorgeous lilies and a myriad of other flowers. But what caught my attention was the locket hanging from one of the tree branches, swaying in a mythical wind, the face of the locket open and inside a facsimile of my grandfather’s smiling face.

  “Oh my God… It’s beautiful! But how did you..?” Thirteen held up one of my photo albums.

  “Sorry,” He stated simply, but I could tell by his smile that he so wasn’t, and I wasn’t either. It was gorgeous. It was also huge. My whole back had pretty much become the canvas for it.

  “You wouldn’t sit for it all at once. We’d do all the outlines in one sitting, then give it time to heal, then do the shading, let it heal, then do the color a section at a time. Depending on how well you sat, you’d be looking at five, maybe six sessions, less if you can hold still and don’t need breaks. I don’t think it will be as bad as you think. Getting a tat is a lot different when it’s something you want and no body’s holding you down.” Rev said.

  “You’re a smart girl. If we show you the equipment and explain how it works logically, I think that would help and go a long ways, too.” Trigger said.

  I stared at the image they’d painted on my skin with permanent marker.

  “When can we start?” I was convinced. I loved it. I really, really loved it, and I could and would do it. I would erase every last trace of Pig from my body with an overlay of something beautiful that commemorated my grandfather, who meant so very much to me.

  “Tomorrow night, if you want. Not going to lie, it’s a big decision. Are you sure?”

  “I’m sure,” I said, marveling at the image.

  The four of them exchanged looks. “Okay. We’re going to bed. You two have fun.” They left me with Thirteen, who closed the door behind them.